A good week

or, productivity is overrated

Earlier this year, I read a book called Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa. It has stayed with me. I won’t get into the plot—both because I think it’s better to know as little as possible prior to reading it, and also because it’s not relevant here—but what has stayed with me from it is the value of each individual, just by being, even if they are not deemed productive or ‘useful’.

I haven’t felt very useful or productive of late. Some doors have closed and I’m waiting for other ones to open. Or rather, trying to put myself in the headspace so that they can. And trying to reassure myself that they will. There was a difficult anniversary. So not much has gotten done this week, in the strict sense of the word; I clean the house, snuggle with Marv, listen to audiobooks and take long walks.

This isn’t to say there aren’t steps I should be and am taking. But you also can’t do more than you can do. And the most valuable part of my week wasn’t work and productivity or the lack thereof: it was sitting around tables eating and drinking, enjoying the company of some special people who’d been strangers just days earlier.

It usually takes a while for me to feel truly comfortable with new people, but when I came away from time spent with this warm, open-hearted group, I felt warmed, too. They were here for just a few days days, I might never meet them again, and it doesn’t matter. Just being—with others—made the week something special.